


Clowning Around

by Paraselene_Spear



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/M, Mild Language, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paraselene_Spear/pseuds/Paraselene_Spear
Summary: Ren and Ryuji take on one of the most dangerous jobs they've come across. Their friends have abandoned them.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	Clowning Around

"Why'd you sign me up for this shit again, man?"

" _I_ didn't sign you up for anything. We all agreed that anyone that didn't volunteer quick enough would get stuck with it."

Ryuji groaned. " _We_ didn't agree to anything! We weren't even awake! Ain't fair man." Ryuji angrily kicked a stone in their path. "Can't believe they texted in the middle of the night. This was a setup, you know that, right?"

Ren hummed in acknowledgement. "Yup."

"Not even that, it was _Makoto's_ idea. You should break up with her over this."

"Oh, I'm considering it."

Ren shook his head in slight annoyance as they made their way to their destination.

"I should've been more alert. Should've played video games to stay up late."

Ryuji groaned again, this time with more anger. "I'm pissed. How were we not awake but _Yusuke_ was?"

"Yusuke stays up til 3 a.m. almost every day, Ryuji. We didn't stand a chance."

Ryuji nearly tripped over himself. "Are you shittin' me? 3? Why the eff-"

Ren cut him off before he ranted further. "It's Yusuke. Take a guess."

The blonde deflated, grumbling under his breath about " _art bullshit"_ and " _weird-ass breakfast schedules."_

The two teens stopped walking as they approached their destination. Ryuji gulped, looking at Ren.

"C'mon man, you're the leader. Can't you veto this shit?"

"Believe me," Ren said with a sigh. "I would've if I could've." He looked to his compatriot, noticing the distraught look on his face. He nudged his shoulder. "Hey, cheer up. It could be worse."

The blonde thief scoffed. "How?"

"We could be dead," the dark-haired leader deadpanned.

Ryuji rolled his eyes.

Ren checked over himself, pulling the last of his equipment on himself, before turning his attention to his partner.

"You ready?"

His friend placed the last of the needed materials in place. He gave Ren a determined gaze and nodded his head.

"Alright then," Ren began. He pulled out his phone and sent the message letting the rest of his friends know that they were ready.

He pulled the colorful rainbow wig over his head and squeezed his red, round nose.

_honk_

"It's _showtime."_

* * *

The sounds of lively children sounded about the large playroom, kids of young ages laughing and giggling in mirth. Children bounced around the large gym-like area, jumping from bouncy castles to ball pits. Off to the side, away from the gaggle of kids, Makoto and the rest of the ex-Phantom Thieves sat around a table. She observed one young boy pick up a foam sword and engage in a duel with another.

Makoto returned his sights on her friend lounging about and sighed.

"Am I the only one that still feels a little guilty?" She voiced here regret only to be met by shaking heads and a laugh from Futaba.

"Nope, Queen. It's just you," the redhead hacker responded, her eyes not leaving her phone.

"I know, I know. It's just... I still don't like the idea of setting them up for failure, you know?"

"Hey," Ann called out, "you told us you _really_ didn't want to do it and we didn't either. You should be thankful we came up with a plan to bail you out, to be honest."

The brown-haired second in command didn't voice any dissent to the statement.

Ann spoke again. "Besides, since it was you who asked, Ren didn't even put up that much of a fight."

"That's... true," Makoto said, meekly embarrassed over the fact of her sway over Ren's decisions. "Still, did Ryuji really needed to get wrapped up in this?"

"Uh, yes? Of course he did!" Ann burst out, sounding comically shocked. Makoto gave her a questioning stare.

"Why?"

"Because it's funny."

Makoto sighed again.

Haru giggled at her friends' antics. She moved her hand to Makoto's shoulder.

"It's okay Mako-chan. It's all just fun and games. Besides, I think they make the best clowns! It'll be great!"

"I'm starting to think this is more for your entertainment than the children's."

The heiress only continued to smile.

A spry, black figure hopped onto Haru's head.

"I'm just surprised you guys actually think they'll follow through," Morgana said. The rest of the thieves looked at him.

"What do you mean? They already relented, did they not?" Yusuke asked, the only one not involved in the plot to be spared.

"Yeah, sure, they _said_ they'd do it," the black cat specified. "But come on, we haven't heard from them since they said they were getting ready hours ago. I wouldn't be surprised if they're far away from now, leaving us to suffer."

"Wait," Ann spoke, her eyes growing wide. "If they don't come, does that mean _we_ have to do it?"

Before the rest of them could panic at the notion, their phones all rang simultaneously. They checked their messages.

They all deflated in relief.

"It seems they are ready," Yusuke announced. "They're waiting for you to let them in."

Futaba let out a _"finally!"_ and prepared her phone. Haru and Ann situated themselves to be ready to watch the chaos unfold, Morgana getting snug in Ann's lap. Makoto watched her friends get unnervingly excited.

"Tell them I'm coming."

Yusuke nodded and complied to the order as she stood up and walked towards the mass of playing children.

* * *

"Hey everyone! I got some exciting news!"

Those within earshot stopped and looked to her in curiosity, and soon, the rest followed as they crowded around her to hear what she had to say.

"So, I know you've all been having fun, but I have some guests here that are want to introduce themselves. They said they have _lots_ of fun things to share with you. Is that okay?"

Her young audience cheered and jumped in agreement. She inched herself close to the entrance of the room.

"Alright then... here they are!"

The door shot open as two figures stepped into the room. White makeup covered their faces, both dressed in baggy costumes, one wearing a bright, yellow suit and the other, red and white. The yellow suited clown had red polka-dots scattered around his uniform and a tiny red pirate hat atop his blond head, and he held an assortment of colored balloons. The other had a big round nose, a curly, rainbow colored wig, and fidgeted with his red gloves.

The room went silent, the children subjecting the two new entrants to intense scrutiny, waiting for them to move. The two gaudy men looked at each other for a moment, neither exactly sure what they were expecting.

The red-nosed man cleared his throat.

"Uh... heya kids!" Ren put on his biggest smile along with the highest, cheeriest voice he could muster.

None of them responded.

Futaba snickered in the background as she continued to film.

"My name is...," the clown looked towards Makoto, wide-eyed, waiting for help. When he received none, he forced himself to improvise. "My name is... the _Jokester!_ And this is my friend!" Ren wrapped his arm around his fellow clown. "... _Kid the Captain!"_

Ren ignored Ryuji's objection ( _"oh hell no, dude")_ and continued speaking, lest he lose his momentum.

"My good, sweet, _best_ friend Makoto, here, said it was someone's birthday today! Is there a Tokido here?"

A young boy adorned with a birthday sash and hat emerged from the crowd, and he stood before the two jesters. He looked up at the two towering clowns. Ren crouched down to be eye-level with him.

"Hello there. Are you Tokido?"

The boy nodded.

"Excellent! A little birdie told me you just turned five. Is that true?" His question was met with a more vigorous nod.

"Well then!" The red and white clown jumped up, now looking fully immersed and comfortable in his role. "The Captain and I are here to grant you anything you want! Isn't that right, Kid?"

Ryuji, who had been angrily glaring at Futaba and Ann for the past few moments, stumbled to respond.

"Wha- I mean- yeah! That's right!"

He walked to Tokido and held out the numerous balloons.

"Here you go, bucko!"

Tokido accepted giddily. The rest of the watching children began " _ohhing"_ and " _ahhing"_ in wonder.

Ren was quick to take advantage.

"Now then! We have some games and toys for everyone to play with. Who's ready for a-" _honk "-_ of a good time?"

A dam of barely contained excitement broke out as the two clowns were swarmed in a chaotic frenzy.

* * *

_(1:24 a.m.) Queen: Hey everyone, I'm sorry to message you all so late but I have an urgent request. My friend from University is hosting a birthday party for her little brother. He's turning five and is a huge fan of American clowns. Unfortunately, she hasn't been able to find anyone. I volunteered to help. I'd greatly appreciate if one of you could be a clown for an afternoon._

_(1:25 a.m.) Oracle: lol_

_(1:25 a.m.) Panther: lol_

_(1: 26 a.m) Noir: Oh, that sounds like so much fun! But I don't know how to be a clown, so I don't think I can help here._

_(1:27 a.m.) Panther: I don't think any of us do, Haru, but I get what you mean._

_(1:28 a.m.) Oracle: Speak for yourself. Inari is the biggest clown I know._

_(1:28 a.m.) Fox: I object to this statement._

_(1:28 a.m.) Queen: I know guys, I'm sorry. I'm not asking for anything professional, just anyone who can stand and play with kids for awhile._

_(1:28 a.m.) Fox: I am the least clown-like of the group._

_(1:29 a.m.) Oracle: lmao okay_

_(1:30 a.m.) Oracle: Mona has politely told me to inform you all that he declines being a kitty-clown._

_(1:31 a.m.) Panther: Yeah Makoto, idk, this really doesn't sound like a job for us._

_(1:31 a.m.) Queen: Please, I'm begging you all. If I don't get anyone, my friend's brother will be devastated._

_(1:38 a.m.) Oracle: Ugh. fine. But I'm not doing it._

_(1:39 a.m.) Noir: Well, how do we pick who does volunteer?_

_(1:39 a.m.) Oracle: Last person to respond is it.  
_

_(1:39 a.m.) Oracle: ez_

_(1:39 a.m.) Oracle: Not it._

_(1:40 a.m.) Panther: Not it._

_(1:40 a.m.) Oracle: Mona said not it._

_(1:40 a.m.) Noir: What?_

_(1:40 a.m.) Noir: Oh! I see!  
_

_(1:40 a.m.) Noir: Not it.  
_

_(1:41 a.m.) Fox: I too am not it.  
_

_(1:42 a.m.) Queen: um. not it?_

_(1:42 a.m.) Panther: Welp, that settles it. Ren and Ryuji are the clowns._

_(1:42 a.m.) Queen: What? Wait, I only need one.  
_

_(1:43 a.m.) Panther: Awww, just one? But clowns are so much better in pairs!  
_

_(1:44 a.m.) Fox: I concur, laughter is best enjoyed in company. As they say, 'There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.'  
_

_(1:45 a.m.) Oracle: who tf is they.  
_

_(1:45 a.m.) Oracle: u made that up, stop trying to sound smart  
_

_(1: 45 a.m.) Fox: I did not. I picked it up from an English novelist._

_(1:45 a.m.) Oracle: whatever, I agree with them, more the merrier ٩(˘◡˘)۶٩(˘◡˘)۶  
_

_(1:46 a.m.) Noir: I think Ren and Ryuji would make great clowns! I think they should do it!_

_(1:46 a.m.) Queen: Shouldn't we wait? I don't think Ryuji is awake and Ren and I already talked for the night.  
_

_(1:47 a.m.) Panther: how adorable  
_

_(1:47 a.m.) Panther: if we redo it, there's a chance u might be a chosen. do u really wanna risk that?  
_

_(1:55 a.m.) Queen: Ren and Ryuji it is._

_(1:56 a.m.) Oracle: lmao_

_(8:58 a.m.) Skull: WTF?????_

_(8:58 a.m.) Skull: HEY_

_(8:58 a.m.) Skull: THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT_

_(9:03 a.m.) Skull: ANSWER ME U DICKS  
_

_(9:03 a.m.) Skull: @Joker ARE U SEEIN THIS SHIT??  
_

_(9:04 a.m.) Joker: Calm down, I just woke up. Lemme catch up real quick._

_(9:08 a.m.) Joker: What the fuck_

* * *

Makoto waved goodbye to Tokido and her friend, the last of the party goers. Their exit officially marked the end of the birthday party. She let out a deep breath. How exhausting.

She turned around to see Ryuji, still Kid Captain, chasing Futaba, Ann, and Haru around for their phones and their incriminating film. Ryuji would die before he let the footage of himself getting struck in the groin by a child's thrown dart see the light of day.

Yusuke was furiously sketching the scene, Morgana barely able to contain his laughter at Ryuji's misfortune.

She gave a small smile as she walked towards the other clown, the Jokester in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall in a tired heap. He had his head in his arms, resting.

She sat down next to him.

"Hey."

She didn't get an immediate response.

"I swear it wasn't my idea Ren. Please?... Ren?"

The face of the Jokester popped up, eliciting a small shriek from her.

"Hello there, Makoto! How can I help you!" Ren spoke, mocking his own voice he had adopted throughout the day, before returning to a stone-cold expression he aimed at her. She couldn't help but chuckle. She placed a hand on his back and started rubbing small circles.

"I know. I'm sorry. If I could find suitable professionals, I would've. But you did surprisingly well! I didn't know you'd be that good with kids."

Ren had returned to resting his head in his arms. "You better not be getting any ideas. We're still young."

Makoto was glad he couldn't see her furious blush, but Ren knew he was successful.

She leaned against his shoulder.

"Thank you, Ren. I don't think I could've done this without you."

She felt his arm wrap around her, and his cheek pressed against her head.

"Yeah. I know. I'm the best."

The sounds of shouting from Ryuji pinning Ann and Futaba to the ground with a large foam stick echoed throughout the room.

"Should we help them?" Makoto asked with worry.

Ren looked up to see Haru placing Ryuji in a choke hold so Futaba and Ann could strike him with their own weapons.

"No."

**Author's Note:**

> this is my masterpiece


End file.
